Safer Queer Sex 101
Obviously not everyone wants to have sex. Celibacy is a legitimate choice. Asexuality is legitimate. Just like people who have sex, those who do not do not deserve to be questioned about it or interrogated. It’s none of your fucking (heh) business. Respect people.
Some people may choose to have sex with one partner, or ten. They may choose to not have sex until marriage or to have sex with whomever they wish. All of these are legitimate choices.
This is not a comprehensive sex-ed guide. View this as a queer sex 101 and me as the TA in charge of teaching you. Certain things may not apply - if you and your partner choose to forgo condoms that is your choice. Your or your partner may be allergic to latex. In that case, I suggest polyuethane condoms which, sadly, are more expensive and harder to find.
I have organized this primer by sex acts, rather than by gender, assigned sex, sexual orientation or other labels. Feel free to add/correct any possible mistakes here.
What is enthusiastic consent?
Enthusiastic consent is the radical notion that you should ask your partner about sex. Verbalizing your desires, don’t put pressure on your partner to do something they’re uncomfortable with, explore your sexual options
How to ask!
. me to do?”
"What do you want to do to me?"
"I think it would be really hot if we ______. Do you want to?"
"I think it’s really sexy when you ______. Can you please do that?"
Communication and honesty are sexy and something everyone, queer or not, should be totally into. What’s more sexy than knowing your partner is into what you’re doing? Can you say “ego boost”? (Or: HELL YEAH I AM A SEX GOD)
Your partner has the right to revoke consent at any time. That is why an ongoing discussion is needed between sexual partners. Consent to one activity (having ones labia orally stimulated) does not suggest consent to another activity (being penetrated with a tongue).
Because the thing about sex is that if you want it, it should feel good to you. It should feel good for your partner.