I don’t know but;
so non-survivor allies should always support survivors while we cope and process our trauma. if we talk about killing our abusers, shut up and let us talk. if we joke about it, shut up and let us talk. if we don’t want to talk about it, shut up.
survival is hard enough!!
but the thing is!
a pretty popular trend is that non-survivors really want to get in on the revenge-fantasy stuff.
like: so many non-survivors have these hero complexes that I see peeking out (I’d help you get revenge, consistently talking about going out and shooting particular peoples’ rapists, talking about what our coping mechanisms)
and it grosses me the fuck out because I am a victim but I need to own my victimhood for my benefit, certainly not to make non-survivors feel better about themselves as feminists or whatever or make you feel fierce